life exist

The things that I can consider as the most valuable for me and the things that I want to happen again is my past time together with my brother. And I really miss those experiences with him.
Being with him was the happiest thing that I had in my life. We’re so closed each other than our other brothers and sisters. With his company, I was really enjoyed. He was so jolly. We were always exchanging jokes. And we’re always laughing. Sometimes my father was getting angry because we’re very noisy. But still we continue laughing silently.
Sometimes, when I got mad, he comforted me. Then, he made me laugh. If somebody will criticize me, he will defend me. I had learned a lot from him. He imparted to me, the things that he had learned, because he didn’t want me to be ignored of everything. He was the best brother for me. and I can’t imagine my life without him. Until now, the pain is still here in my heart. His death, was the hardest thing to do for me, his horrifying death.
If only I know that it will happen to him. I will not leave him here in Davao, so that he will also have a comforter and companion. When he was departed from us to study here in Davao of his secondary education, we didn’t know that he’s always sad. And until now we didn’t know why he committed suicide. When I was looking him at the coffin, I can’t imagine what was happening to him, and I saw the sad on his face. It was very opposite to the face when we’re always joking, laughing. I’ve seen the happiness in his face. But on that time, I was really confused what his sad face wanted to convey. What was really the truth behind his death?
If God will give me a chance to make a wish and grant it rightly, I’ll ask him to turn back the time. So that I can be with my brother again and to be happy. And I will not leave him anymore.
I just want to see him, always happy.

it’s like a deep sleep and then your mind starts to take you somewhere… anywhere… and your body begins to move uncontrollably, feeling as if you’re in a shock…an electric shock… then you wake up concluding that you were having a nightmare. falling in a cliff or falling in love… its the same difference, the exact gravity and magnitude of pain that hits you… the dream of staying up in the air forever, and ending up having a nightmare that you wish you didnt have to wake up… please, stay away from the edge of the cliff… the hell am i saying??